😂 Trending Reddit Jokes - August 17, 2026

It was performed by a 5 year old little bastard on the back of my seat while flying from London to Singapore.

I ran over with him and saw two men going at it. I asked, "Which one is your dad?" He said, "I don't know, that's what they're fighting about!"

Irrelephant

It used to be a stunt car, but RedBull gave it wiiings. I nearly died laughing, I was so proud of him in that moment and really wanted to share the humor with some like minded folks. (I am a dad, just not his dad.) Anyone else find some truly inspired dad humor from unexpected places?

Nacho cheese

C'mon Punsters, it's not difficult to guess, it's a cinch!

Because he discovered the principle of leave her.

Gnoccis

They raised him for years, however they began to get worried because he never spoke, and they believed that he was mentally handicapped, going as far as to take him to therapy, which was fruitless. Then, when the child was 8 years old, he had a pastry, and said "It is a little tepid." His parents, of course shocked that he was suddenly speaking, asked: "Wolfgang, why have you never spoken before?", to which the child replied: "Up until now, everything had been satisfactory."

​ The lorry then swerved and crashed into a Hyundai, carrying refractive geo optical accoutrements, severely injuring two ophthalmologists seated inside. One practitioner, originally from Saskatchewan , already afflicted with strongyloidiasis, instantly suffered an onset of hypercholesterolemia. A local man, Tarquin Cholmondeley-Featherstonehaugh who witnessed the scene, alerted the emergency services using his Xiaomi smartphone. A police spokesman later said “It’s really difficult to say what happened here”.

An hour later the guy comes back, sits down and the process starts over. Motioning to the bartender, Bob asks, "How does that short, bald guy do it? What is his secret?" And the bartender says, "I have no idea. He just sits there, all by himself, licking his eyebrows."

I said no this one's actually good looking..

I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."

Donkey or rhinoceros, it's a HIPAA POTUS mess.

Nothing. The Pink Panther doesn't speak and hasn't for over 60 years now.

"That's a whisk I'm willing to take!"

One. They are very efficient and don't have time for humor.

They’re both nuts

Dad: “How was school?” Kid: “The teacher asked a question, and I was the only one who raised my hand.” Dad: “That’s amazing! What was the question?” Kid: “Who broke the window?”

Morbid!

I genuinely have no idea

Petah what is everyone gets ice cream vs endless diarrhea??

It is this: **Part as tip? It's a trap!** Thought I'd throw it out here in case anyone wants to add to it, build from it, or throw up some new ones.

# Remember to spoiler tag your guesses Today's puzzle seen in the final image can be played over at [Hearoglyphics.](https://hearoglyphics.com/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=subreddit&utm_campaign=daily_posts&utm_content=bird_collective_nouns_p248&utm_term=wordplay) After playing today's puzzle (win or lose) you can play the last two days worth of puzzles. Want to join daily discussions about the game? Hop over to r/hearoglyphics **\*The Hearoglyphics team does not use any AI in the designing of puzzles or production of any art\***

Offerings must be synonymous, and either: Rhyme (Swift and Miffed), Alliterate (Quick and Cross), Or both (Accelerated and Aggravated)

This was sophomore year, some gen ed English class I only took because I needed the credit. My professor, I will just call him Dr. H, was known across the whole department for being insane about formatting. Not the normal MLA or APA stuff, he had his own extra rules stapled onto the syllabus on top of that. Font, margins, spacing, where the page numbers had to go, all graded completely separate from the actual writing. About three weeks into the semester someone asked what happens if you do not follow the formatting rules exactly. He said, word for word, because I wrote it down out of spite, that if you follow his instructions exactly as written you get full formatting credit, no exceptions, no partial credit for close enough. Cool. Noted. So that weekend I actually read the formatting section of the syllabus line by line instead of skimming it like everyone else did. Two things jumped out. First, it said the title needs to be centered. It never said what the title had to say, just ...

Happened in 2024: Working on a phone system decom. 3800 phone #'s. 200 of them vanity #'s. Upper management running the project and they quickly get into mindset of not taking well thought out and reasoned feedback from the nerd bench. Got to the point of do what you are told, we aren't interested in what you have to say. The vanity #'s are for C level suite, regional VPs, high earning sales people. We have the meeting notes strongly rebuking engineering for pushing back on changes and that we are to simply 'comply'. ATT service disconnect goes out for 3800 #'s and 200 vanity numbers. Takes 30 days for ATT and then shit REALLY hit the fan. It was epic to be on a 67 person meeting and our service delivery manager show the CEO, CIO, CFO, CMO, and seriously pissed off sales, the upper management directive to simply follow all directives and no questions asked. People were were shown the door right after and upper management changed significantly for the better. No one on the nerd b...

Didn’t make the recipe but says that sun-dried tomatoes won’t work in the sauce.

WHICH UPGRADES ARE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR NORMAL SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN?

Me and a friend seizing the moment 💁🏽